Trusting Me x 3

Many of my friends, particularly the ones in traditionally high-strung occupations, such as lawyering, often remark on how inordinately calm my disposition appears. However, the truth is that although I maintain the visage of a stoic blob, I do have many moments of anxiety. I don't care to recount the numerous triggers that fall into the desperate loser category, so I'll just mention the more dignified one: work. I really can't fuck around when it comes to handling sensitive affairs for other people, and sometimes I just get petrified thinking about whether something I have already completed was done correctly, or how I am going to resolve anticipated hurdles to difficult cases.

I have devised a mind trick to tackle this issue. Basically, I am three people. There is Past Me, an intelligent, hard-working nerd. There is Present Me, a caring and competent human being. And there is Future Me, a fearless, creative bad-ass who can get anything done. In any given moment, I can only be Present Me. This is awesome because any work-in-process that I have in hand has come from Past Me, which means that I need not worry about whether the groundwork has been properly laid. I can instead go ahead and run the usual course of Present Me, injecting some caring and competence. That's not too daunting at all! When I take a break from the work, I need not continue worrying about it, because it will soon be on the turf of Future Me, who I can be assured will finish and polish it up.

Work and sleep have seriously been so much more pleasant since I have started trusting me x 3 in such a manner. Of course, I'm not deluding myself into thinking that We are infallible. Even intelligent, hard-working nerds and fearless, creative bad-asses can make mistakes. But all of those things mixed in with caring and competence always make for a graceful and compassionate resolution.

Trusting is nice.